Tag: mental-health

  • Living History

    Here’s a piece of writing that I find particularly relevant.

    “We are often called “the elderly,” but that quiet label hides a truth most people rarely pause to consider: we are the last living witnesses of a world that no longer exists.

    If you look closely, you might notice gray hair, slower steps, or the quiet patience that time alone can teach. But if you truly listen to our stories, you will discover something far more extraordinary. We are not simply older people moving through the final chapters of life.

    We are the survivors of one of the most breathtaking transformations in human history — a generation that walked from the slow, deliberate rhythm of an analog world into the dazzling speed of a digital one without ever losing our sense of humanity along the way.

    Our journey began in a very different place.

    Many of us were born in the 1940s, 1950s, and early 1960s, when the scars of World War II were still fresh across Europe and Asia and the world was slowly learning how to hope again. Cities rose from rubble. Families rebuilt lives after years of uncertainty. Childhood unfolded in ways that would feel almost unrecognizable to younger generations today.

    Our toys were simple: marbles played in dusty yards, hopscotch drawn on cracked sidewalks, checkers and cards gathered around kitchen tables while the smell of dinner filled the house. When the streetlights flickered on in the evening, it was the universal signal that childhood adventures were over for the day and it was time to go home.

    There were no smartphones, no streaming videos, no endless scroll of digital distractions. Instead, we built our memories in the real world — with scraped knees, laughter echoing down neighborhood streets, and friendships that formed face to face, without the mediation of screens.

    Music became one of the defining soundtracks of our youth. The 1960s and 1970s arrived like a wave of color and rebellion. We watched culture shift around us, carried by electric guitars and voices that dared to question the world.

    For many of us, gatherings like the legendary Woodstock Festival of 1969 symbolized something powerful: the belief that peace, music, and community could reshape the future. Hundreds of thousands of young people stood together in muddy fields, listening to artists who poured raw emotion into towering speakers known as the Wall of Sound. Those concerts were not merely entertainment; they were moments when strangers felt like a single generation singing the same hope under an open sky.

    Education looked different then, too. Our notebooks were filled with handwritten notes carefully copied from chalkboards. Research required patience, long hours in libraries, and stacks of heavy books rather than a quick internet search. We learned to slow down and think through ideas because information did not arrive instantly. Mistakes were corrected with erasers and ink, not with the click of a delete button.

    Love carried a different rhythm as well. We fell in love while vinyl records spun on turntables and cassette tapes clicked softly inside plastic players. Music became the background to first dances, long conversations, and dreams about the future. Those relationships grew into marriages, families, and lives built step by step through the 1980s and 1990s — decades that saw technology begin to reshape the world around us.

    Yet nothing compares to the bridge our generation has crossed. We are the only generation to have experienced an entirely analog childhood and a fully digital adulthood.

    We remember waiting days — or sometimes weeks — for handwritten letters to arrive in the mail. We remember rotary telephones and party lines where neighbors could accidentally overhear conversations. Communication required patience and anticipation. Today, we can see the face of a loved one across the ocean instantly on a screen small enough to fit in a pocket.

    The world changed in ways few could have imagined. We watched humanity land on the Moon in 1969, a moment when millions of people sat in living rooms staring at black-and-white televisions as Neil Armstrong took humanity’s first steps on another world.

    We saw the rise of personal computers, the birth of the internet, and eventually the arrival of smartphones that placed entire libraries of knowledge in our hands. Machines that once filled entire rooms now exist on devices lighter than a paperback book. We moved from punch cards and mechanical tools to artificial intelligence and global networks connecting billions of people instantly. And through every shift, we adapted.

    Our bodies carry the marks of the times we lived through as well. We grew up during fears of polio and tuberculosis, illnesses that once terrified entire communities before vaccines helped bring them under control. We witnessed the global challenges of pandemics and health crises across decades, including the recent silence and uncertainty of COVID-19, which reminded the world that resilience is still required in every generation.

    Science itself transformed before our eyes. We saw the discovery of the structure of DNA in 1953, the decoding of the human genome at the turn of the century, and the early steps into gene therapy and advanced medicine. Transportation evolved from simple bicycles and steam engines to hybrid vehicles and electric cars gliding almost silently through city streets.

    Few generations have witnessed such sweeping change. And yet, despite everything that evolved around us, certain things remain unchanged. We still understand the joy of a cold glass bottle of lemonade on a hot afternoon. We still remember the taste of vegetables picked straight from a garden. We still know the value of a long conversation that unfolds slowly without a keyboard or screen interrupting it.

    Our memories stretch across decades. We have celebrated births, mourned losses, watched friends depart, and carried their stories forward. Those of us who remain share something rare: the experience of standing at the crossroads of history, holding memories from a world that younger generations know only through photographs and stories.

    But we are not relics. We are living bridges. Our perspective reminds the modern world that progress does not have to erase wisdom. The speed of technology does not have to replace patience, kindness, or reflection. We remember what life felt like before everything moved so fast — and that memory carries quiet lessons worth sharing.

    So when someone calls us “elderly,” we can smile. Because behind that word lies something extraordinary. We are the generation that crossed two centuries, witnessed eight decades of transformation, and walked from the age of handwritten letters to the era of artificial intelligence.

    What a life we have lived. What a remarkable story we continue to carry. And if you belong to this generation, take a moment today to look in the mirror and recognize something powerful.

    You are not simply growing older. You are living history. You are part of a generation that will always remain one of a kind. And perhaps, in the quietest and most meaningful way, you are becoming legendary.”

  • How to Be Old

    I saw this article in the New York Times and I thought it was worth reposting. Just so ya know I changed a word to make it more right for me. I like the term “elder” instead of “elderly”. The author used the word “elderly”. I think the word “elder” is more dignified.

    So, here it goes…

    How to Be Old

    By Roger Rosenblatt

    This is a list of rules for elders, the aim of which is to keep us elders elder, and not to see us go one step further. Staying alive in one’s later years is an art generally requiring the avoidance of wrong moves. The key word to a lot of one’s behavior is “don’t.” If more elders simply did not do certain things, especially on impulse, the world would be a safer place. Duller but safer.

    I should add that if you fail to follow these rules, I’m not saying that you are doing anything wrong. Only that you will suffer.

    1. Run when you hear “We must do this again.”

    This is often said at the end of some pointless social event in which you participated reluctantly. Inevitably someone will say cheerily, “We must do this again.” Nonsense. They don’t mean it. You don’t mean it. Nobody means it.

    2. Marry above your station.

    Usually you can’t help it. But you’ve probably found that out already. (Me: the only thing I see wrong with this is if everybody married above their station there would be no one left above your station. Someone’s going to get the shaft. So, think about that.)

    3. Don’t forget to bestow confidence.

    It’s the best thing you can give someone you love. Saying “You can do it” to a loved one in a situation in which that person has self-doubt — taking an exam, making a speech, writing a poem — means more than any sweet profession of affection. It means that you love that person so wholeheartedly that you wish him or her the inner satisfaction of self-realization. The pride of achieving themselves. What more can you say that so expresses your love?

    4. Observe the moth.

    In her essay “The Death of the Moth,” Virginia Woolf notices a moth in its death throes, batting about a small windowpane. The author watches the animal’s plight with pity and admiration — awe, really. Its struggles are beautiful. She imagines the moth saying death was too strong, even for it.

    Observe the moth in its monumental fight for life and do likewise. We gain life’s powers by knowing that eventually they will be taken away. There is beauty in this struggle.

    5. Don’t share despair.

    Not even with your friends. Not that they won’t sympathize. It’s just too much to ask of someone dear to you to bear your burdens.

    6. Don’t compromise, especially a little.

    Unless you’re a professional negotiator, don’t compromise. Give in a little, you might as well give up the ship. During the McCarthy era, students were required to submit loyalty oaths to maintain their scholarships. At a meeting of the Harvard faculty, a professor who had escaped Mussolini’s Italy challenged the dean on this matter. The dean responded that signing and sending in the oaths was merely pro forma and had no more meaning than licking the stamps on the letters. The Italian professor stood and said something like, “Mr. Dean, I’m from fascist Italy, and in fascist Italy you learn one thing. First, you lick the stamps. Then you lick something else.”

    7. Screw it up royally.

    You’ve spent a long life telling yourself that mistakes are to be avoided, but that isn’t necessarily so. Playing jazz piano, whenever you make a mistake, which is inevitable, you make another mistake deliberately to make something right out of something wrong. Then you do it again. Theoretically, you could play an entire tune of mistakes, and it would sound just fine.

    You may think it would be better not to make the mistake in the first place. But a creative mistake may be truer to life, as you’ve no doubt discovered. You took a job you didn’t want, soon to discover it’s the ideal job for you. You were born to do that job. When you think of it, life is an assembly of creative mistakes. Even when you don’t think of it.

    8. Don’t question everything you don’t understand.

    The older you get, the more wonderful the world appears. Wonderful meaning full of wonders. The sudden appearance of something beautiful in the midst of heartbreak, for instance.

    You are at a low point, and you think you’re going to stay there, there’s no relief, when out of the blue, something by Mahler or Beethoven comes into your air, and all at once the sorrow dissipates. You don’t question or analyze the moment. You’re simply grateful for it.

    Where heartbreak is, beauty intrudes. Wondrously.

    9. Grab the chicken leg.

    So, there we were, in our 20s, Ginny and I and a bunch of friends, having a picnic by the Charles River in Cambridge, when I picked up a chicken leg with the intention of eating it and held it aloft. A little boy walked by and took it from my hand and kept walking. My friends and I laughed — the boy was so casual. Ginny said, “He must think that life is a chicken leg, waiting to be snatched.” In fact, it is, even when you’re no longer a spring chicken.

    10. Look only at the rim.

    When I was playing intramural basketball in college, I was 5-foot-11, a mite in the land of giants, and my all-around game was so-so at best. Yet most of the time I managed to score in the double digits by paying no attention to the defense. I simply pretended it wasn’t there. I looked only at the rim of the basket. And sure enough, most of the time the defense didn’t touch me.

    Other games in life offer similar opportunities, at any age. Disregard the impediments to your well-being — a noisy neighbor, a treacherous colleague — and concentrate instead on where you are headed. You’ll be pleasantly surprised how easily you get there. Nothing but net.

    11. Do not seek immortality.

    It won’t come to you anyway, certainly not through your works and achievements. But the good feeling you have for others, and they for you, that goes on forever. I’m fond of quoting the poet Philip Larkin: “What will survive of us is love.” That should do it.

  • Life in the Twilight Zone

    An excerpt from Just Walk Away – a memoir of growing up in Iowa

    In Junior High everything changed. I went from a largely contented child to a mostly discontented child. How could this happen? There was no particular line of demarcation between 6th grade and 7th grade and yet there it was. A journey into the Twilight Zone and no choosing. One day you’re fine, the next day you’re not.  What is it about junior high? All the experts say it’s the hormonal changes. Is that it?  One thing that I‘m sure of – it’s something that must be gotten through. There’s no way to navigate around it.

    I walk down the street arms laden with books to the corner to catch a bus packed with kids. Mom has given me a scrambled egg sandwich that I’m supposed to eat but as soon as I get out of sight of the house, I throw it in the gutter. So embarrassing! And speaking of embarrassing, I’m on the bus and not sure how to act or what to say. I’m the tallest girl except for Judy so that makes me feel weird . There’s a boy who gets on at some point and I’m hoping he’ll notice me, but he never does. I’m too shy to say anything or initiate anything. Oh, well. Better luck next lifetime.

    To compensate I spend most of my time studying and trying to get good grades even though what I really want to do is go all googley eyes over the Hildebrand Twins (who are doubly handsome but total greasers), go to Beatles movies, and pass notes to my friends during class. At Anson Junior High we wait outside the front door for school to start and tease each other without mercy. We are stupid little brats, and I have no idea who started it. It doesn’t matter because whoever started it the rest of us jump on board and participate without a second thought. Mean Girls. Eventually someone complains and who can blame them? Then we are called into the principal’s office and properly chastised and after that we never do it again. I am mortified at myself because my nature is not to be a bully. I am a dumb follower.

    In the classrooms we pay just enough attention to get by and spend the rest of the time drawing elaborate cartoon stories that Christine and I make up about the exploits of the Beatles who are, of course, our favorite band. No, favorite EVERYthing. We see them on the Ed Sullivan Show and are over the moon from then on. I play all the 45 rpm records I can get my hands on and memorize all the lyrics and sing along. I can’t wait to go to the record store to see if any albums have come in.

    We have all the fan magazines. We have all the records. We fanaticize about getting to see them in person and become their girlfriends. We get away with writing notes to each other because it looks like we were taking notes on what the teacher is saying, but we aren’t. This is 1962 and 1963. We are 12 and 13 years old. The notes are very funny and full of pictures and balloon dialogue. When the first Beatles movie comes out, we all troop down to the Orpheum Theater on Main Street on a Saturday to watch as many showings as they let us. I think I might have gone to see A Hard Day’s Night about 10 times. Same with Help!

    I like Latin class, oddly enough, because the teacher, Rose Sadoff, is such a character and so very entertaining. Every class she declares, “Latin is not a dead language!” in her quirky voice and then she goes on to demonstrate how it isn’t by citing examples of how Latin is alive and well in many of the words we say every day. From her I get a love of language and later on I’m still enamored (Ha! Latin there!) and I study the etymology of words in a  teeny tiny version of the Oxford English Dictionary. I memorize the Latin verb conjugations Mis Sadoff gives us. Amo, amas, amat, amare; amamus, amatis, amant, amare, “o”, I; es “you”; t “he”; mus “we”; tis “you”; ent “they”; amare! This is cleverly set to the tune of One little, two little, three little Indians. She also has us greet each other, “Salve!” (sal-vay) to which we respond, “Salve et tu quoque!” (sal-vay et too qwo-kway). “Salutations!” “Salutations to you also!”

    I take Home Ec, because it’s better than the other classes, but I’m no good at it. The recipes they give us are really stupid. How about a Purple Cow, anyone? (Grape juice in milk). Are you kidding me? I am interested in cooking but have no natural talent. In science class Mr. Horgan has us demonstrate a project. Ellen makes a salad and tells us to tear the lettuce and not cut it with a knife because the cut edges will get brown.

    I try sewing. The assigned projects are supposed to be simple and easy. Ha! Not simple enough for me apparently. I cannot get it. I’m always putting the wrong sides together, sewing them and then having to rip it out and do it all over again. I’m an impatient person and I want to just get on with it and not be a stickler for details. Please, Mrs. Teacher, don’t examine my work. Please don’t notice that the hem is uneven, and the buttonholes are raggedy. I get by and at least what I make doesn’t fall off me onto the floor.

    I’m excited to join 4H where I will learn more cooking, but still on a beginner level. I am picked to demonstrate how to make an egg salad sandwich boat at the county fair. I get up on the tiny stage and show the judges what to do while they watch me with concentration and no sympathy. So, I pretty much ignore them, pretending they are not there, and go about my business. Chop hard cooked eggs, mix with mayo, scoop into a hollowed out hot dog bun and top the whole she-bang with a little sail made out of paper and a toothpick! Quelle drole! Remember this is the 60s. It’s an era full of Mad Men type ladies dressed to the nines just to vacuum the house a la Mrs. Cleaver. TV dinners are all the rage. Frou-frou food items are welcomed. I have absolutely no recollection of what the judges thought of my presentation. I’ve blocked it out. I am just glad to get it over with. Anyway…

    It’s Artie who really teaches me to cook. Artie comes into the kitchen where I’m doing my homework at the table. He has an Italian cookbook, which he hands to me and says, “Pick out a recipe. We’ll go to Bacino’s market, and I’ll buy the ingredients. You make it.” So, I look in the cookbook and pick out Spaghetti Bolognese. It looks easy enough so I think I can do it. It has bacon, hamburger, and Italian sausage in it and it turns out really good. Now I’m hooked on cooking.

    In junior high there’s a swimming pool in the lower level. We go into the dressing room and get on these horrible blue flimsy tank swimming suits and go to the pool to get lessons from Miss Hasenwinkle (how do Midwestern teachers wind up with such flaming terrible names? We also have Miss Houdyshell who teaches Mathematics). Some of us have our periods and this is an automatic excuse not to participate. We had gotten The Movie in the 6th grade (Very Personally Yours) which was incredibly embarrassing. In junior high some girls have figured out how to use tampons but most of us wear the belt and the giant Modess pad which we were sure is visible to everyone. More junior high misery.

    I almost drown in one of our swimming sessions. We are told to swim the length of the pool and back and maybe I haven’t had enough sleep or I’m hypoglycemic (because I wouldn’t eat the egg sandwich) but at some point, I just cannot make it to the edge of the pool. Back and forth back and forth and then my energy just gives out, and I’m going under. I struggle but nobody notices until Ellen sees and jumps in to pull me to the edge.

    A sociopathic boy in home room catches flies and tears their wings off so he can watch them crawl around the desk suffering. I am grossed out and disgusted. Does he go on to become a serial killer or wife beater? I’ll never know and don’t want to know.

    I look forward to the school dances but I hate them at the same time. I get all dressed up in what I think is a cool empire waist dress. Then I stand at the edges of the gym floor terrified that someone might ask me to dance. No one ever does and this is a great relief. One of my friends tells me that her older brother thinks I’m cute. This makes me feel good, but can I now just run away and hide? I have absolutely no clue how to handle boys. They are an exciting idea but the reality? Totally overwhelming! No one has ever told me what is expected of me, how to converse, anything. Mom is busy with other things and Artie, well, he would never ever have such a personal talk with me. I am 100% on my own. I watch what my friends do and try to stay out of trouble.

    Then in 1963 President Kennedy is assassinated. Someone comes in the classroom and tells us.  We sit there stunned not knowing what to think or feel and then we are sent home. At home we watch the funeral on TV when we should be eating Thanksgiving dinner. I am impressed with the horse handler doing his best to control the riderless black horse “Black Jack” jigging beside him down Pennsylvania Avenue, the cavalry boots turned backwards in the stirrups. It is so sad to see Jackie with her widow’s veil barely concealing her tear-stained face and the sight of little John-John, their son, fumbling his hand under the flag of his father’s casket and then saluting. This was the first time I am aware of politics.